I will have you
by ladymarycrawley
Summary: Set post season two, the night before Mary's marriage to Richard Carlisle. This is my first ever fan fic, so any suggestions or reviews would be great!
1. Chapter 1

At last. She had escaped the suffocating congratulations of the guests staying at Downton and the smirking of her sister to the solitude of the small church in Downton Village, where tomorrow, she would become Mrs. Richard Carlisle. Mary wandered slowly down the aisle, her footsteps echoing around the deserted church. She felt sick with the thought that from tomorrow onwards, for the rest of her life, Richard could do whatever he liked with her. She would have to allow him intimacies when her heart ached for another. But Matthew had made his feelings perfectly clear; "We're cursed, you and I..." Mary slumped into the highly polished wooden pew, exhausted with pretending everything was alright, always putting on a brave face. The flower arrangements were laid out on the pew, ready to decorate the church for the wedding, for the happy couple. Mary trailed her delicate fingers over the silken petal of a white rose as she allowed a single tear to roll down her beautiful face. She knew she had to marry Richard to save her family, including Matthew, from sharing in her disgrace. She pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle the sob when she tortured herself with the same thought she tortured herself with everyday; if it wasn't for that one stupid, reckless moment with Pamuk, she and Matthew would be long married.

As she rose to leave, she wiped the tears from her face and shook herself. After all, she thought, perhaps she and Richard could be happy. To the outside world, it certainly seemed an advantageous marriage for both parties. As Mary tried to convince herself she could be content with Richard, she suddenly heard a noise in the corner of the church. Her heart began to pound; she had thought that she was all alone. She bravely marched up the aisle, plastering on her haughty exterior for this intruder, but let out an audible gasp when she saw that it was Matthew, looking at her with yearning in his piercing blue eyes.

Mary felt as though she couldn't bear to look at him, so she tried to march past him with as breezy a "Hello!" as she could muster, but she found herself prevented from doing so by Matthew's strong right arm clasping around her slender waist.

"Mary... please..." he begged, his sky blue eyes brimming with desire.

"Let go of me this instant! How dare you!" Mary did her best to be strong and push him away, but his arm curled around her felt so natural, so safe...so right.

She broke his hold and stepped backwards away from him.

"Mary..." He came towards her; in her panic to be away from him, she walked backwards until the stone wall of the church was pressed against her back, cooling her flustered body. He took advantage of her position, coming to press the whole length of his muscular body flush with hers. Matthew's eyes searched hers, the tension mounting every second. She could feel his hot breath on her face, her heart pounded erratically and she found she couldn't control her breathing, taking in gulps of air at intervals. He smiled as his gaze fell on her lips and they found themselves swaying, inconceivably, towards one another.

"No!" Mary cried. "I won't do this again, Matthew!" She tried to push him away with all her force, but he was too strong for her. He pinned her arms against the wall and growled in her ear,

"I will have you by the end of the night, _Lady_ Mary."

She gasped at the insinuation and at the erotic images his words conjured to her mind. She could feel an unbearable, unquenchable heat pooling inside her and her knees buckled with unspent lust. She had a desire to tease him a little more though; how dare he presume that she wanted him! And on the day before her wedding to another man! Just when he was beginning an exploration of her neck with his velvet tongue, she pushed him and ran as fast as she could out of the church and into the woods surrounding the abbey.

Matthew stood for a moment in pure shock.

The anger he felt at her leaving quickly turned into raw lust; his blood was up and he needed to quench the raging fire now burning inside of him. He had watched as other men flirted with her, controlled his anger as they did so, even managing to be civil to Carlisle.

He was sick of always being kind, sweet, gentlemanly Matthew. His and Mary's encounters had always been so innocent, just a few stolen kisses, a couple of dances. He wanted to show Mary this other side to him; he wanted to make her moan and groan and scream with pleasure when he'd finished with her.

He ran after her, catching a glimpse of her flowing skirts going through the trees. She could hear him coming up behind her. She had no idea how fast he could run but she could hear his footsteps more loudly every second, leaves and twigs crunching and snapping beneath his feet. The pounding of her heart was becoming painful so she stopped abruptly and bent over, trying desperately to catch her breath.

Matthew found her in a matter of seconds and roughly pulled her up and around to face him.

"You can't run from me, Mary..."

They were both panting from their run and Mary's heaving chest was the final straw for Matthew. He grabbed her tightly to him and pressed his lips to hers in a white hot kiss of passion. She groaned softly into his mouth as his tongue thrust into hers. Her head was swimming as all rational thoughts left her. All she knew was she needed Matthew never to let her go. Matthew tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Her hands grabbed his hair as she pulled him closer and closer. No longer content just to kiss, Matthew's hands began exploring her body, stroking her breasts, her waist. She gave a small cry as he teased her breasts through the thin fabric of her dress. He bit her lower lip as he heard and felt her need growing. Matthew gave a growl of passion, picked her up and slammed her back against a nearby oak tree. As she was roughly thrust against the tree, Mary thought she might faint from the cascade of new sensations, from the pleasure his touches gave her. This was her Matthew, sweet, kind Matthew, dominating her and teasing her. She loved him, but she never in her wildest dreams imagined him being so strong and passionate. She unconsciously wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as they continued the kiss, blushing furiously as she felt a hard bulge growing against her centre. He began to rock against her, his every contact forcing short moans from her throat. Mary's moans spurred Matthew on as his hands delved into her soft, abundant hair, tearing the diamond clip from it, allowing her dark tresses to fall sensually over her shoulders and over his face. He looked at her, her eyes closed with pleasure, aroused, flushed and utterly undone. He smiled as he began stroking her legs, exploring her soft white thighs as she shuddered with delight under his skilful hands.

Just as Matthew though could control himself no longer, they heard a man's voice calling Mary's name.

They tore themselves away from each other, fearful that they had been discovered.

"MARY!" the voice shouted again.

"It's Richard!" Mary half gasped, half whispered to Matthew. "What are we going to do?... My hair!" she cried, as she realised their encounter had left her looking less than ladylike.


	2. Chapter 2

_This is just a quick little chapter; not as full on as the last, but I promise more will happen in the next chapter! R&R_

Matthew quickly helped her bundle the loose waves of her hair into her hat, trying to make her look respectable again. She was glowing and still slightly trembling from their encounter.

"How do I look?" she asked, panic stricken as Richard's voice came nearer and nearer. He stared at her.

"Ravishing..." he breathed, his low tone sending shivers down Mary's spine. Matthew quickly stole one more rough kiss from her red, swollen lips just before Sir Richard came upon them.

"Ah, there you are Mary. Your father said you had gone down to the church but I couldn't find..."

Richard trailed off and his eyes narrowed menacingly as he noticed Matthew's presence.

"Oh, _you're_ here are you? Come along, Mary."

He held out his arm for her and she reluctantly took it with a forced smile as he led her away. Richard's rebuke as they walked away passed completely and utterly over her head, Mary not taking in a single word. Turning her head almost imperceptibly, she saw Matthew's eyes glitter wickedly with promise and her head swam as she thought of what would happen if he dared to keep his vow.

Dinner that night was unbearably charged. The dinner table was full to bursting with wedding guests staying at the Abbey and somehow Matthew and Mary had ended up seated by one another. She talked animatedly with the person on her right hand side, attempting to speak eloquently about hunting whilst trying desperately to ignore Matthew's hand stroking the inside of her thigh under the table, up and down, his fingertips grazing her through the fabric of her evening gown. When the second course arrived and it was time to turn to talk to the person on their left, she firmly pushed his hand away from her. She was certain that if he continued his attentions she would throw back her head and groan aloud.

"Please..." she begged him, under her breath. He gave a mischievous smile as she took larger gulps of wine than was strictly acceptable to calm her body and her nerves.

"I'm sorry our meeting earlier was interrupted, but perhaps it was for the best..." he said, his voice dangerously seductive.

"Oh? And why is that?" she inquired, with as much composure as she could muster while feeling her face and neck flush red with desire.

"Because," he murmured, "I would have had you up against that tree, Lady Mary, and that wouldn't have done at all."

Mary closed her eyes and swiftly gulped down the rest of her wine. She signalled Carson to refill her glass. Matthew's eyes were dark and his eyelids were heavy with lust.

"I want you in my bed," he continued, whispering hoarsely under his breath. "Screaming my name..."

Mary let out a small involuntary moan that only they could hear. The images his words conjured in her mind were unthinkable and she trembled as she considered her riposte.

"Well then..."

She looked up in to his eyes boldly, before realising in alarm that the noisy dinner chatter had stopped, everyone was looking at her and Richard was standing, glass in hand.

"To my soon to be wife, to Lady Mary," he toasted.

"To Lady Mary!" the table chorused and drank from their glasses. Mary pulled herself unwillingly back into the real world, raised her glass and smiled convincingly in Sir Richard's direction. Mary's grandmother snorted quietly into her glass, not at all convinced by Mary's act as the other guests were. She raised an eyebrow, sensing a new energy between Matthew and her eldest granddaughter which was not entirely proper.

Before Mary could turn back to Matthew, her father was inviting all the gentlemen to the library for brandy and cigars. She gave silent thanks to God that she would have some time in which to assuage her agitated thoughts.

Sipping tea with her mother, grandmother and sisters was unutterably dull while she was waiting to see how this situation would end. It was wrong, delicious, unspeakable, terrifying, exciting...her mind was in a whirl. She walked over to the corner of the room so no one could observe her and the thoughts she was sure were written all over her face. Violet's eyes followed her around the room; she smirked and took a sip of tea.

Mary jumped as she heard the door click open and the men came in holding glasses of whisky and brandy. Matthew made a beeline for her but Richard got to her first. Matthew's lips pursed in frustration and he busied himself pretending to look at the books on the table nearby.

Sir Richard grabbed Mary's arm a little too forcefully, his fingers digging unpleasantly into her delicate skin and led her away from the group.

"I think I will come to you tonight," he stated with an emotionless face, his voice icily commanding.

Mary looked at him in shock.

"But we are to be married tomorrow! Shouldn't we wait until then?"

Richard scoffed.

"I'm tired of waiting and besides, it's not as though you're a virgin anyway."

Mary looked up at him as though he had hit her, her eyes widening with hurt, but before she could reply, she heard a crash of glass and a loud curse behind her.

Matthew had been discreetly listening in to their conversation, his anger building slowly inside as he stared blankly at a random page of an open book, almost shaking with fury. He gripped his brandy glass harder and harder and no sooner than the cruel words were out of Richard's mouth, he found his glass shattering into a thousand pieces in his hand and he cursed as some of the shards sliced viciously into his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Without knowing how she got there, Mary was by Matthew's side in an instant, cradling his left hand in hers. As he winced in pain, he managed to gasp out an apology.

"I do apologise, Cousin Cora. I must have gripped it too tightly."

Still clasping his hand in hers, the blood began trickling down his wrist. Violet sighed. Was nothing done properly without her interference?

"Mary," she snapped.

"Yes, Granny?"

"Perhaps you could take Matthew upstairs and bandage his hand?" She raised an imperious eyebrow, pursing her lips as she grasped the silver top of her cane.

Sir Richard protested. "Mr Crawley can look after himself, I daresay?" His voice was menacing and his eyes threateningly cold and thin.

Mary looked up at Matthew, her eyes promising everything but the rest of her face perfectly unreadable.

"Oh, nonsense! Men are terrible at looking after themselves!" she said breezily.

Mary's expression was, as ever, indecipherable; Matthew's feelings were written clearly in his face. Violet began to smirk slightly as his eyes searched Mary's face, his gaze falling all too clearly on her lips. Mary lightly tapped his hand as a warning, but her facade dropped for a second to smile at his boyish face. Violet looked over at them with a mock disapproving glare, but in truth, the sight of them standing side by side whilst Richard glowered at them made her positively gleeful.

Mary gratefully took her grandmothers prompt, pulling gently on Matthew's hand and leading him from the drawing room.

As the door clicked shut, Mary said, in a firm voice,

"Really, Matthew. You must learn to hide your feelings better!"

Matthew surprised her by kissing her hard on the mouth, pressing himself close to her.

"Absolutely not," he whispered, his mouth close to her ear.

He bent down to claim her mouth again, but was interrupted a shot of pain jolting through him as his cut hand brushed against something. He couldn't help the hiss of pain and Mary teasingly berated him.

"Men really are appalling at looking after themselves...Come on, I'll bandage it up for you."

She led him upstairs to a small storage room. The hospital supplies that had been left over from the war had been discarded here and left, no use to anyone. The tiny room seemed full of the sound of their breathing and she busied herself finding the bandage. She found what she needed and began wrapping it gently around his injured hand, her fingers brushing his over and over as she wound it round and round. She tucked in the end.

"There...all better."

She gasped as she looked up and saw the intensity blazing in his blue eyes, burning into her skin.

"Can we go somewhere..." he whispered. She quirked an eyebrow and gave him a flirtatious grin.

"Where _precisely_ did you have in mind?"

"Somewhere where I can show you how I... feel about you..."

A breath caught in her throat. "Matthew..." she murmured, trying to sound firm but only succeeding in sounding very tempted by the proposal. He began to kiss her neck, sucking lightly at her pulse as her head fell back to allow him access to all of her neck.

"Come with me."

He followed her down endless passages, past countless rooms, leading finally into what he supposed must be the sisters' private corridor.

Mary stopped for a second outside her bedroom door.

"This is my room," she said, a touch of shyness momentarily flavouring her voice.

She was interrupted by Matthew kissing the skin behind her ear and nibbling at her earlobe.

"The night before I marry _him_ and all I want is you. It's not very proper, I'm afraid," she joked as she tried to lighten the powerful feelings electrifying the air around them.

Matthew stopped his kisses. "I'm glad to hear it, my dear," he growled.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him firmly down to her, burning to kiss him again. She pressed her body even more firmly to his, aching to be closer. His hand stroked her waist, then dipped lower and lower, causing Mary to gasp and push him away.

"We shouldn't, Matthew."

"Don't play with me, Mary."

His eyes locked with hers and she backed away from him, frightened by the strength of her feelings, her body trembling with desire, until the door stopped her retreat. Suddenly, he was inches from her, his eyes playful yet dark with longing.

"Don't..." she whispered as his gaze flickered down to her lips, bending his head down to her.

Mary gasped as he unlocked the door behind her, her support flying away, making her giddy, the two of them stumbling into her bedroom, kissing and touching as if they could never be satisfied. He smiled at her as he turned the key in the lock. He lifted her up, her legs curling round his hips, feeling his arousal pressing hard against her core. He pulled her suddenly down on top of him, her knees sinking down into the soft feather mattress. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer against him as he pressed his lips firmly to hers. She no longer wanted to resist him, not when his tongue was dancing with hers, not when their bodies were so deliciously close. Their mouths melded together in a clash of heat and wetness and desire.

"Oh, Matthew..." she sighed gently into his mouth. Damn propriety, she thought. They had waited long enough to be together and she wanted him to feel... she couldn't even put into words how she wanted him to feel...

She pulled back from him slightly, eliciting a small moan of disappointment from Matthew, and she began slowly kissing her way down his chest, opening his shirt buttons tortuously slowly, her kisses hot and slow and languid on his chest, his stomach, the light trail of blonde hair disappearing into his trousers. As she reached the waistband of his trousers, she glanced at him naughtily, undoing each button leisurely as he quivered at her every touch. She pulled them down and her dark eyes glittered as she lowered her mouth down, her breath tickling him...

He held his breath in anticipation and groaned as she took him in her mouth, never breaking eye contact, her eyes dark and promising. Matthew didn't stop long to wonder how, where, she could have possibly learnt to do this, her hot tongue licking and teasing him... his eyes rolled back as she took him deeper. Oh God, he could never in his wildest dreams have imagined this; the eldest daughter of the Earl of Grantham pleasuring him with her mouth in her private bedroom. He wanted to please her too, give her even a fraction of the bliss she was currently bestowing on him. With all the presence of mind he still possessed, he pushed her head away. Mary pouted and then gave a squeal as Matthew shifted, slamming her down beneath her into the warm sheets. He tore at her dress, pushing it down over her breasts and taking one of her rigid pink nipples in his mouth. Mary flung back her head and cried out his name as his tongue ran round her, teasing her mercilessly as he gently pinched her other breast. He pushed at her skirt, stroking her calves slowly up to her thighs. Her eyes widened as he caressed the soft velvet of her inner thigh, feeling her pulse race at his touch.

He trailed one finger up her thigh, barely touching her at all and she moaned as his finger found her through her underwear, caressing her through the smooth fabric. It was too much, it was not enough, the more he touched her, the more she needed, as each desire was satisfied, it was suddenly not satisfying enough. She wanted more of him...

The feel of her through the hot silk as she writhed under his touch was intoxicating. Matthew pushed her underwear aside and slowly placed his finger inside her. Matthew moaned with her; she was hot, tight, wet. Mary's hips arched upwards to meet his and she clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle a loud groan of pleasure. He moved his finger in and out, in and out whilst kissing her so passionately his lips were almost raw with the pressure of it.

He pulled out for a second, Mary now panting with desire. He grinned and trailed his finger down her thigh again and up into her again, finding the sensitive spot and circling gently.

"Oh God, Matthew!"

She moaned louder, her body aching for him, needing him. The sounds coming from her spurred him on, her ragged voice calling his name reminding him that he was doing this to her, bringing her to the brink. He teased her more, circling faster and faster. Mary dug her hands into the pillows under her, desperate to hold on to anything as the waves of pleasure washing over her intensified.

"I want you inside me," she whimpered, her back arching desperately as she craved closer and closer contact.

Matthew circled his finger faster and harder until she screamed out,

"Please Matthew!"

Faster.

"Please!" she begged.

He looked at her, her eyes tightly shut with desire, her breaths short and hoarse.

He swiftly removed his unwanted clothing, dragging her dress roughly over her head and pulled down her underwear, the wisp of hot silk and lace quickly abandoned on the floor. Kissing her inner thigh, his lips brushed fleetingly over the dark shadow between her legs.

"Matthew, please..." she half whispered, half panted.

Matthew eased himself into her, her eyes fluttering shut again in pleasure. He began thrusting slowly into her; Mary whimpered under the torment of such unhurried movement and she began moving her hips faster. He responded to her eagerness, thrusting quicker and quicker as Mary shook underneath him. He looked into her face, her hair a mess of dishevelled mahogany curls, her mouth open in an "O" and he smiled luxuriantly. She was finally his.

"Harder, Matthew!" she cried out, no longer embarrassed at her lust, desire pulsing through her. She needed him, to save her, to cleanse her of all the heartache. With each thrust of his hips, her back raised off the bed with the sheer force of him and she panted and moaned. Her moans became louder and more ragged until she shattered under him, pulsing and quaking uncontrollably as unknown and previously unfelt ecstasy washed over her in impossible waves. The feel of her around him unfastened Matthew's control and he came with her, his thrusts dying down as they clung to one another in bliss. He fell down beside her, exhausted with his exertions and pulled her close against him.

"Thank you, my darling."

The hoarseness of his voice surprised Matthew. They lay together in a tangle of legs and sweat and arms, luxuriating in the feel of each other's bodies at last.

XOXOXOX

Their contented oblivion was rudely interrupted by the rattle of the door knob.

"Mary!" Richard hissed through the door. "When I told you I would come to you tonight, I meant that I would be _inside_ your bedroom. Why have you locked the door? Let me in at once! What if someone sees me?"

Matthew's arms tightened around Mary's shaking body with a surge of anger and protectiveness.

"What should we do?" Mary whispered, so softly Matthew could barely hear her.

"Tell him to bugger off?"

Mary smothered a giggle and Matthew's lips found hers again. She was sweet and soft beneath him, glowing with love but with a tinge of worry lining her face.

"Mary!" Richard hissed again. "Are you in there? I'm warning you..."

"Yes, I'm here, but... umm... the key is stuck in the lock, so I can't let you in."

Matthew couldn't help a cough of delighted laughter explode from him. Mary's eyes widened and she smacked Matthew on the arm in exasperation.

Silence from outside the door.

Silence from inside.

"Mary. May I ask who is in there with you?" uttered Richard, through tightly clenched teeth.

Matthew answered him with subtle triumph tingeing his voice.

"Go away, she's busy."

He pressed Mary back down into the mass of crumpled sheets and kissed her hips, placing hot little kisses down further, causing an involuntary low moan to erupt from within her.

Richard slammed the heel of his hand into the door in anger, the thud making Mary jump.

"You'll regret this, Crawley," Richard growled through the crack in the door.

They heard angry quick footsteps echoing down the corridor, fading away.

Mary shook a little in fright.

"What do you think he's going to do?"

Matthew smiled at her reassuringly. "He can't do anything to us, my darling. _The key is stuck in the lock_ after all..." he mocked her with a twinkle in his eye.

All too soon, they heard the angry footsteps again getting louder and louder, coming towards them. The footsteps stopped outside the door. There was a tense pause as the two lovers inside held their breath in suspense. Matthew heard a soft, ominous click from outside the door.

"Oh my God," Matthew breathed. "He hasn't..."

Matthew placed himself protectively in front of Mary.

"What is it, Matthew? You're frightening me!"

A cold laugh from outside chilled them to their very bones.

A gunshot rang out and echoed in the still night.


End file.
